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 Ryan Miller's MPF Application.

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Potatos Gonna Potate.
User



Posts : 6
Join date : 2012-09-06
Age : 29

Ryan Miller's MPF Application. Empty
PostSubject: Ryan Miller's MPF Application.   Ryan Miller's MPF Application. EmptySun Oct 07, 2012 2:36 am

**OOC portion**
Steam username:Potatos Gonna Potate.
SteamID: (Didnt check it yet , it will be fixed in a moments).
Ban history:None.
Past RP experience: Citizen RP , CWU RP.
Past CP experience: None.

RP example:(Taken from my another Application.)
MPF-UNION.05.12345 (Ryan Miller.) Radios :Promotion to patrol the plaza.
MPF-UNION.OfC.54321 Radios: Approved.
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :/me Wear his tool belt , take his stun stick , and moving out to the plaza.
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :/me Noticing group of Citizens the Surrounded a CWU worker.
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :/me Walks towards the Group.
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :Isolate !
**Most of the citizens are back off exept from one**
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :Citizen , Isolate !
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :Fast !
Citizen :Any problems Sir?
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :/me Unflicks his stunstick from the belt.
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :/me Turn on the stunstick .
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :/me Push the Citizen away from the CWU worker.
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :Citizen , Wall , Now !
Citizen : /me Walks towards the wall in fear.
MPF-UNION.05.12345 : /me Attempts to tie the citizen.
Citizen :/me Do not resist.
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :Citizen , Apply!
Citizen :Ryan Miller ,09876
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :/me Opens his data pad , put the name in it.
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :/me Seems like you already have 7 Pinalti points.
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :/me Check the Citizen for any illegal items.
MPF-UNION.05.12345 **Finds 2 Chinese takeouts and a Bottled water.
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :/me Takes the contraband from His backpack.
Ryan Miller :Its not mine , i found it , i swear.
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :Prepare To receive a Civil judgment.
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :/me Turn on his Stunstick and hits the citizen twice at the head.
**Ryan Miller lose consciousness**
MPF-UNION.05.12345 :/me Grabs him , and take him to the Nexus.


Character backstory:

Ryan Miller was born in Hope Hospital within the united stated in 1990, twenty years before the seven hour war. His mother, a bold and strict woman, named Ryan after his brother, who died in a horrible war. Ryan's father, a tolerant man, decided not to give Ryan a middle name. That was when Ryan's mother decided to make the child's middle name 'Charter'. Both parents agreed that the middle name would work, and took the baby a few days later to their house. Ryan was friendly towards his mother, and playful towards his father. It was a good sign to the parents, last thing they wanted is for their child to grow intolerable.

It is 2000, Ryan is now ten years old. He went to a local school which hosted First grade up to eighth grade. As a student, Ryan would keep himself isolated from trouble which may occur. He was a very stubborn person when it came to making friends. The last thing Ryan wanted was to be friends with someone who is untolerable. He finally met Mary, a very bright and friendly girl. Ryan and Mary would always walk to school together, study together, almost do anything together! The parents of both Ryan and Mary thought the two being friends could improve their grades, which it did! As the years went by, Ryan's and Mary's bond became stronger and stronger. To the point where they would care for one another. Quite a strong friendship huh?

Nine years later, Ryan got a job to work as a clerk in the same hospital in which he was born in. He chose to be a clerk because of the good salary and that Mary also worked as a clerk to. Just like childhood, Ryan and Mary would always work together and talk together. After six months passed in working at the hospital, Mary became married to a very handsome man. Ryan was jelous, in the friendly way though! Because he loved Mary ,and was Ashamed to tell her that.Six months after the marriage, Ryan was alone in the first level in the hospital. It was a very slow day, Ryan, bored, decided to walk outside to get some fresh air. However, instead of fresh air, He heard booming, screaming, and murder. Humanoid figures surrounded Ryan. Before he could make an attempt to flee, the was knocked out.

Six years later, Ryan lives in city eighteen with no knowledge of what has happened to his world. In fact, he has no clue what Earth was like before it was taken over! Of course, he remembered his parents, relatives, and Mary. But he had no idea where they are, it is like they no longer existed to him. Ryan turned his back from those who sought the combine's reckoning, and looked at the Universal Union. They didn't want to harm the human race, they wanted to help it! From there, Ryan applies to be apart of his glorious union via MPF application.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________
**IC portion**
Name:Ryan Miller
Age:25
Birth year:1/13/1990
Past crimes:None.
Medical/Engineering experience: Yes [* ] No [ ]
If yes, which (or both) and explain:Medical experience , Worked as a Clerk in a hospital before the War.
Why do you want to join the Union?:To protect and serve mankind, to give or sacrifice my life for the cause of our glorious union.
Any other information you wish to share?:None.
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Concomise
User
Concomise


Posts : 62
Join date : 2012-09-04
Age : 34
Location : Romania

Ryan Miller's MPF Application. Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryan Miller's MPF Application.   Ryan Miller's MPF Application. EmptySun Oct 07, 2012 9:06 am

There's this huge difference between your RP Example grammar and spelling and your Backstory ones. The Backstory is clearly more carefully made. Could you revise your example a little?
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Korra
Respected
Korra


Posts : 218
Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 26

Ryan Miller's MPF Application. Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryan Miller's MPF Application.   Ryan Miller's MPF Application. EmptySun Oct 07, 2012 9:25 am

Concomise wrote:
There's this huge difference between your RP Example grammar and spelling and your Backstory ones. The Backstory is clearly more carefully made. Could you revise your example a little?
If there's a huge difference between his grammar in those two different ones.. Possibly copied?
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Concomise
User
Concomise


Posts : 62
Join date : 2012-09-04
Age : 34
Location : Romania

Ryan Miller's MPF Application. Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryan Miller's MPF Application.   Ryan Miller's MPF Application. EmptySun Oct 07, 2012 9:51 am

He apparently mentioned that the RP example has been taken from his other app.

Quote :
RP example:(Taken from my another Application.)

Maybe he thought it was well done and didn't bother to re-read through it to find any mistakes?

EDIT: Found it
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
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Korra
Respected
Korra


Posts : 218
Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 26

Ryan Miller's MPF Application. Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryan Miller's MPF Application.   Ryan Miller's MPF Application. EmptySun Oct 07, 2012 10:01 am

Couldn't even take the time to make a new RP example.. Tsk tsk.
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Concomise
User
Concomise


Posts : 62
Join date : 2012-09-04
Age : 34
Location : Romania

Ryan Miller's MPF Application. Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryan Miller's MPF Application.   Ryan Miller's MPF Application. EmptySun Oct 07, 2012 10:10 am

Haven't seen you in action in order to evaluate you, but if you wanted this bad, you should've impressed me. You wouldn't have copied the same application. Sorry, but this one gets..

Denied.

Make a new one if you really want this.
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Potatos Gonna Potate.
User



Posts : 6
Join date : 2012-09-06
Age : 29

Ryan Miller's MPF Application. Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryan Miller's MPF Application.   Ryan Miller's MPF Application. EmptySun Oct 07, 2012 10:36 am

Well it took me like 2 hours to make this backstory , And i wanted this to be perfect , maybe that why the grammar seems different to you.
I worked really hard on that one , so if you want i can do a new Rp example , IF NOT , can i put this back story in my new application?
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Korra
Respected
Korra


Posts : 218
Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 26

Ryan Miller's MPF Application. Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryan Miller's MPF Application.   Ryan Miller's MPF Application. EmptySun Oct 07, 2012 10:57 am

Potatos Gonna Potate. wrote:
Well it took me like 2 hours to make this backstory , And i wanted this to be perfect , maybe that why the grammar seems different to you.
I worked really hard on that one , so if you want i can do a new Rp example , IF NOT , can i put this back story in my new application?
You may make a new RP example in this one and we will re-view it.
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Ryan Miller's MPF Application. Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ryan Miller's MPF Application.   Ryan Miller's MPF Application. Empty

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