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 my mpf app

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patmagroin
User



Posts : 2
Join date : 2012-08-30

my mpf app Empty
PostSubject: my mpf app   my mpf app EmptyThu Aug 30, 2012 5:59 pm

**OOC portion**
Steam username:patmagroin
SteamID:STEAM_0:1:30960831
Ban history: none Very Happy
Past RP experience: alot of dark rp and some hl2rp
Past CP experience: only on dark rp but that doesnt count
RP example:I was returning to the 45th apartments, i had just gotten my rations from the plaza, when a man approached me, demanding my rations.

me: i cant give you these! ill starve!
man:you think thats my problem?
man:/me draws his fists and throws a punch at man
man:/rolls *rolled 62
me:/me clenches were hit
man:that was just to show you i mean business
man:/me steps forward threataningly

i ran down the stairs to the 45th entrance
me:/y HELP THIS MAN IS TRYING TO ATTACK ME!
me:/me gasps when he realizes there are no combine around
man:/me approaches man from behind
man:thats right, no one can help you, just give me the rations and you wont get hurt.
me:just stay away, please, i dont want any trouble
me:/me attempts to run away
me:/roll *rolls 26
me:/me trips down the stairs of the 45th
me:/charfallover
man:/me picks up man and drags him towards the slum

the man has dragged me into a building in the slums
me:please just let me go
man:give me the rations and i will think about it
me:/y HELP!
man:SHUTUP!
man:/me begins to beat the man

he is then interupted by a loud knock on the door
man:/y who is it!

the door is then kicked open revealing MPF officers
the man is then detained
Character backstory:Micheal Vance was orphaned at birth in 1987 and sent to a orphanage, his care take "Maude" beat not only his physical body, but his mental well being. When he was 14, he was adopted by a kind lady named Luna, she was a nurse with brown hair and blue eyes, she loved him and took care of him, on weekends micheal would help her work at the hospital. When micheal was 15 he returned home to find Luna dead, a widow was broken into and the house was ransacked, murder was the only way he could describe it, he ran away in fear that he would be sent back to the horrible orphanage, and lived on the streets. on the streets he witnessed countless rapes, murders, muggins and car jackings, "and we have the nerve to call ourselves a civilization" he thought "there is nothing civil about this at all". 2010 came around and the 7 hours war took place, the combine had occupied earth and planned to make it a more civil place Micheal was attracted to that idea. In 2016, micheal joined the MPF.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
**IC portion**
Name:micheal vance
Age:29
Birth year:1987
Past crimes:
Medical/Engineering experience: Yes [X] No []
If yes, which (or both) and explain: i worked in a hospital with my guardian
Why do you want to join the Union?:make the world a more civilized place
Any other information you wish to share?:


Last edited by patmagroin on Fri Aug 31, 2012 7:38 am; edited 1 time in total
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Judge Dredd
Operator
Judge Dredd


Posts : 71
Join date : 2012-08-19
Location : USA

my mpf app Empty
PostSubject: Re: my mpf app   my mpf app EmptyFri Aug 31, 2012 3:36 am

One big cluster of words, and I'm not sure you were IC approved.

- Support
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Korra
Respected
Korra


Posts : 218
Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 26

my mpf app Empty
PostSubject: Re: my mpf app   my mpf app EmptyFri Aug 31, 2012 6:49 am

Age does not fit with the canon. He would be 26, not 24. 2016, not 2014.
Backstory not long enough and not 3 paragraphs.
RP example is not.. An RP example.
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patmagroin
User



Posts : 2
Join date : 2012-08-30

my mpf app Empty
PostSubject: Re: my mpf app   my mpf app EmptyFri Aug 31, 2012 7:39 am

i would just like to say that i have edited this since these 2 replys
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Dr.Nathan100
User
Dr.Nathan100


Posts : 2
Join date : 2012-08-22
Location : Oregon, USA

my mpf app Empty
PostSubject: Re: my mpf app   my mpf app EmptyFri Aug 31, 2012 4:55 pm

I'm watching you RP as we speak, sadly said I'm not impressed. YOur begging doesn't help much either.

- Support
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Korra
Respected
Korra


Posts : 218
Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 26

my mpf app Empty
PostSubject: Re: my mpf app   my mpf app EmptyFri Aug 31, 2012 9:20 pm

Backstory is still not 3 paragraphs and your grammar is really poor.
This will be the last time you get to fix it.
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Kurochi
Developer



Posts : 285
Join date : 2012-08-18

my mpf app Empty
PostSubject: Re: my mpf app   my mpf app EmptyFri Aug 31, 2012 9:37 pm

-Support.

Only a miracle can help you now.
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Korra
Respected
Korra


Posts : 218
Join date : 2012-08-18
Age : 26

my mpf app Empty
PostSubject: Re: my mpf app   my mpf app EmptyTue Sep 04, 2012 8:36 pm

No miracles happened. Denied!
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