Lemon's App.

Subject: Lemon's App. Sun Sep 16, 2012 2:37 pm

**OOC portion**
Steam username: Lemon
STEAM_0:1:42706680
Ban history: Once before, for thirty minutes.
Past RP experience: Taco and banana. SammyServers. Two other serious RP servers, and various darkRP.
Past CP experience: None.
RP example: (Use commands from OA (20 lines minimum) or type up a short story)
MPF-C18.05.06456 says "<:: Citizen!”
MPF-C18.05.06456 says "<:: Apply!”
MPF-C18.05.06456 says "<::Now!”
**Dougless Aferton gulps. “Dougless Aferton 81348”
** MPF-C18.05.06456 Views his data.
MPF-C18.05.06456 says "<:: Face the wall!”
MPF-C18.05.06456 says "<:: Now!”
Dougless Aferton says “Y-Yes officer!”
**Dougless Aferton faces the wall.
** MPF-C18.05.06456 roughly ties the man’s hands.
MPF-C18.05.06456 says "<:: You are trespassing in the loyalist sector”
MPF-C18.05.06456 says "<::Prepare to receive civil judgment!”
**Dougless Aferton cringes, and yelps out.
**MPF-C18.05.06456 Flicks on his stunstick, and beats the man unconscious.
MPF-C18.05.06456 Radios"<:: Suspect detained for trespassing at location and is prepped for interrogation.”
** MPF-C18.05.06456 drags the unconscious man back through the nexus.
MPF-C18.05.06456 Throws the man into detainment.
*Radio* GHOST DvL - "Move him to interrogation, Jury will be there shortly. Assist him"
MPF-C18.05.06456 Radios"<:: Affirmative”
** MPF-C18.05.06456 takes the unconscious man to interrogation, and waits for Jury to arrive.

Character backstory: Before the war, Devin lived a life of hard work, and tiresome responsibilities. He couldn't recall a time where he had lived comfortably, he had always had to deal with poverty, and barely scraping by. As a teen before the war, Devin was the one who would need to provide for his family. His dad was dead, and his mother a heroin addict. It was his duty to feed his younger brothers and sisters, and make sure they went to class. It was awful; he barely had time to rest or have a social life. As a result, Devin has a hardened personality. He doesn’t like many other people, at least, those who aren’t useful to him.

After the war, Devin noticed something; he wasn’t the only one struggling in life. Almost everyone on the planet was struggling. Devin liked this about the new world. Devin often thought about the state of the planet his species called home. Before the war, the earth was becoming overpopulated with humans, and the frivolous use of they earth's natural resources was slowly killing it. Then he realized something; the combine where fixing that. Humans no longer used gasoline, they no longer had the need to rip chunks from the earth, and they certainly stopped the overpopulation. His eyes were opened, and he thought to himself; the combine may have even helped us..

Before being relocated to city 18, he lived in city 17. He got by on the rations, and any food he could squander up, even then he was always hungry. Devin earned loyalist points where he could, and followed the orders of the police. He strived to earn the title of loyalist, and eventually get the dream job of an MPF officer. He’s always envied the MPF, they kept things in check, and they knew what they were doing, two traits that always appealed to Devin.

Devin used to have a wife, back in city 17. Her name was Emily. Emily was one of the few people that Devin genuinely cared for. Each night, before going to sleep, he and Emily would talk about the usual hardships of the day. Then one night, she confided something to Devin; she told him what she thought of the combine. She wanted them gone, she hated them, and she said they were ruining the human race. She said that she often wished that an uprising would happen. Horrified, Devin reported her to the police. Devin never saw his once beloved wife again.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________
**IC portion**
Name: Devin Murnan
Age: 28
Birth year: 1988
Past crimes: None.
Medical/Engineering experience: Yes [ ] No [ X]
Why do you want to join the Union?: As a loyalist, it has always been my dream to join the Metropolitan Police Force. I want to keep civility, and make sure nobody causes trouble.
Any other information you wish to share?: Was attacked once by a man wielding a knife. This resulted in the loss of three fingers on my left hand.

Operator Posts : 71 Join date : 2012-08-19 Location : USA

+ Support He worked with me really hard to make this perfect, he truly cares about his character. I was honored enough to role-play with him in-game and need I say he is fantastic.

Subject: Re: Lemon's App. Sun Sep 16, 2012 4:29 pm

MPF-C18.GHOST-DvL.12357 wrote:: + Support He worked with me really hard to make this perfect, he truly cares about his character. I was honored enough to role-play with him in-game and need I say he is fantastic.

Aww shucks <3

Subject: Re: Lemon's App. Sun Sep 16, 2012 5:14 pm

+Support Good app and good player.

Developer Posts : 285 Join date : 2012-08-18

Story seems short.

Respected Posts : 218 Join date : 2012-08-18 Age : 26

Very short, as a matter of fact.

Subject: Re: Lemon's App. Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:48 am

Yes I do agree it could've been longer but i also think he deserves it.

User Posts : 32 Join date : 2012-08-19

Backstory is far too short. I would suggest lengthening it some more, and I was laughing by the point you reported your wife xD. The RP is truly executed well, I can't really point out any errors and the use of wording was simply impressive. But I will say to improve the backstory, make it bigger, elaborate on how he got to where he is. How he felt about the war. A bit more on how he survived. Rations are only ENOUGH to survive, so surely he'd talk about his hunger, or lack of sleep. Ect.

Respected Posts : 218 Join date : 2012-08-18 Age : 26

This is your last chance. Make the backstory longer.

Subject: Re: Lemon's App. Tue Sep 18, 2012 6:23 am

Toph Bei Fong wrote:: This is your last chance. Make the backstory longer.

Fixed*

Subject: Lemon's App. Tue Sep 18, 2012 9:38 am

Hey guys, I lengthened my backstory, and thank you to all the compliments, and criticism.

Sorry it was so short in the first place.

User Posts : 32 Join date : 2012-08-19

Much better. +Support

Subject: Re: Lemon's App. Tue Sep 18, 2012 10:51 am

-Support You turned in your wife you dick!

Jk <3

Subject: Re: Lemon's App. Tue Sep 18, 2012 11:18 am

CLASSIFIED wrote:: -Support You turned in your wife you dick!

Jk <3

Lulz <3 :3

Subject: Re: Lemon's App. Tue Sep 18, 2012 8:49 pm

+Support. Somebody accept this dude.

Owner Posts : 140 Join date : 2012-08-17 Age : 26

accepted